A big debate that I'm having with myself lately is my last name.
I know in about 6 weeks, I'll need to make a choice. Do I keep my last name (while also taking his) or completely drop mine? The reason I ask is that in the digital world, everyone knows me as Natalie Malik. But once I change it over to Natalie Mutrux, will it be even harder for people to find me and my networks?
So far it looks like I have three options.
One. Replace my middle name with my maiden name. That's one way to go about it. But I'm hesitant about it because I really like my middle name, Paige. It was my dad's first choice as my name, and Natalie is my mom's. They made a compromise and kept both names. It's really sentimental to me.
Two. Keep all four names and merge my two last names with a hyphen. But man, that would be a mouthful. Natalie Paige Malik-Mutrux. YIKES.
Three. Completely take Mark's last name legally, but keep my last name only in the 'professional' world. Apparently this is becoming a common practice for women who start businesses based on their names. They keep their husbands names legally, but use their maiden name as a sort of pen name. But one complaint from people who do this is that they feel like their living a double life, and business collegues/friends don't know which name to address them by.
Option three is probably what I'll lean towards (because I'm not that professional, but it'll keep it simple in the internet world), but who knows. I might change my mind in six weeks. What do you guys think? Anybody have any experience with this?
♥
Natty
P.S. I'll be the one and only Natalie Mutrux in the WHOLE WORLD. I googled it. It kind of feels awesome.
When I changed my name it was before I had a website. You are wise to google the name first. There was somone with my same name(maiden) in wisconsin who had trouble with the law. You can look up people in the court system here. I always wonder if potential employers saw her name and thought it was me. If you are worried about people finding you, I would just change your name and then list your name on social media like this: Natalie (Malik) Mutrux. People will still find you in search engines and within a couple years you can drop the Malik if you want.
ReplyDeleteI'd say option #3. I see a lot of women do this, and sometimes I've seen them slowly transition their presence/business from their maiden name to their married name, if you'd eventually like to do that to avoid the double life feelings. I'd recommend still reserving your married name on any needed domains/social media handles, even if you still use Malik for a while. I was the only one with my new name when I first got married to Mark, but now there's a younger girl out there with the same name using some similar social media handles.
ReplyDeleteI changed my name to my husband's last name. On all the social media networks, I wrote both names so people would still know who I am, plus get used to my new last name. Five years later, I feel like I can just use my husband's name and people know now who I am. ;)
ReplyDeleteMy mother-in-law already had an established business that was actually called by her name (a modeling agency). In her case, she chose to go for the "double life."
I'm sure you'll figure out which is the best option for you!
I didn't change my name until I had been married for 5 years, it was an emotional decision based on a family situation. Before that I hadn't planned on changing my name. I was not in business at the time, so it didn't really matter.
ReplyDeleteIf I was to get married now, I would either not change it at all, or go with #3.
You'll figure out which works best for you :)
i haven't yet had to figure this out for myself, but my mama (who has no website of any kind) kept her full name – first, middle, and maiden – and added her new last name at the end. additionally, i have a friend (also website-less) who is thinking of combining her soon-to-be-husband's last name with her maiden name to form a new one that they would both adopt. tough decisions! i wish you the best, though!
ReplyDeleteSeveral women in my family go to four names Natalie Paige Malik Mutrux (no hyphen)
ReplyDeleteYou can shorten with initials....
NPM Matrux...NP Malik Matrux....Natalie P Malik Mutrux(I like this one)
As far as business concerns...a d/b/a name is perfectly acceptable and common. I have a nome du plume I use to sign my artwork or poetry. I also know a story about a full transfer of name in politics... in the middle of her first term in office she got married and began the transition to her husband's last name. In her next campaign she used first maiden and new last name, over the course of a few years she moved to her just her first name and new last name and it has been very smooth and did not damage her visibility or name recognition.
Interesting question. I wish you lots of luck figuring it out. Perhaps there is a new name out there that you both could go in on.
Mr. and Mrs. Pincushion
Mr. and Mrs. Van Gogh
Mr. and Mrs. Obama
:)
Wishing you lots of happiness in your adventure.
keep your name.
ReplyDeleteIt's also my opinion, keep your own name. C'mon, that's XXI century ;) Or justice for all: Mr. & Mrs. Maltrux! :)))
ReplyDeleteI think you should truly just go with your gut on this. For me, I really like having the same last name as my children. I don't feel like giving up my last name made me "less independent" and I didn't have a name that was part of my business at the time (or now, for that matter). In any case, my name was not what makes me independent! That being said, I moved my maiden name to my legal middle name, and did drop my middle name. But then we named our first daughter my middle name (Elizabeth) because I did really like it and wanted to "preserve" it. If you're really sentimental about Paige (which is lovely) I wouldn't drop it. For what it's worth, I think the four names are fine! I like identifying our family with one name -- we sometimes say Team G for short. Good luck! (P.S. Found your blog because you won Holly's contest! Lucky!)
ReplyDeleteNatalie, I added my husband's last name onto mine without a hyphen so that I have two last names (and I kept my middle name, too). As I understood it from the social security office and my bank when I made the change, I can (and do) use either last name legally. That way, I can go by my last name professionally (and still accept checks, etc. with my last name), but I can also go by his last name when people address a card to us both, or when we have children.
ReplyDeleteThe bummer part is that on one of my credit cards, they merged the two last names together without a space so it looks like one very weird last name, but whatever. :)
I live in California, btw -- not sure where you're located or if the local laws where you are are the same. :)
I kept my last name and hyphened with my husband's last name. The funny thing is that he did the same thing - we both have the same, long, hyphened last name :) Most people I know who hyphened ended up not liking it, it made their name too long. But I love it. Our name is totally unique.
ReplyDeleteMarcia’s suggestion seems feasible. You can use your original name, Natalie Malik, in social media networks and enclose in parentheses your new name (Natalie Mutrux). That way, your friends will be able to find you using the name they know you by and at the same time, learn to get used to your new name.
ReplyDelete